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September 9th, 2009
 | 03:52 pm
This one is for all THREE of my numerous fans who read my journal because you have no good reasons to otherwise:
I have a dark and sarcastic sense of humor
If you actually read AAALLLL of my entry's you could plainly see this
I am just venting, this stuff is for people to vent
Its a healthy alternative to actual harm done
If you took this seriously them you really don't know me and should just move along
I did get rid of some entry's as to stop offending those who did not take the time to read other subjects in my blog to know my sence of venting
Thank you for your time
Joshlyn
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September 7th, 2009
| 04:44 pm - zed's dead baby, zed's dead.
Than k the maker we will be out of this mess soon
That is all I keep telling myself these days
Kari and I got a new apartment but will not be moving until the 1st of October
But it is finally something to look forward to in this dismal city
True this means the possibility of new shitty neighbors but
I will have my own bathroom and bed room as well as a washer and drier
I wont stink so much anymore
Yay!
The last few days have been interesting however
Yesterday im pretty sure a child was getting beaten upstairs I was pissed but my apathy stopped me from going up there with my softball bat and asking if everything was alright
You can beat up most things and I will not care but animals and children is where I would actually take action
If not fro the apathy
Damn you apathy and all you un giving a shit-ness
If the whore is not walking on our heads upstairs it is the maniac child molester
Dick
Today there is a mini zoo visiting next-door to us and some of the would be ringleaders are busy having a argument
Most likely over something “important”
But I really don’t think so
Fuckinhumanbeans
I hope they end up shooting each other
And that is all
Current Location: hell
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/bitchy.gif) bitchy
Current Music: pulp fiction
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September 3rd, 2009
 | 10:17 pm - chaSINg hEr..... HEy....
My little black heart,
( Oh how she feels so heavy... )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/tired.gif) tired
Current Music: quiet-niss
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August 24th, 2009
August 15th, 2009
| 10:46 am - All is Full of Love
My little monkey died in my arms last night.
i went to the vet a few days before to do some blood tests and a check up
i knew she was sick but i thought that maybe i could fix her better by knowing what was wrong
took her blood but would not pee for them so they kept her for a couple of hours to try and get her to pee
she would not
but she did end up terrorizing pretty much everyone at the vet who was there that day but her doctor
she even scared the lady who would handle the crazy animals
that’s my baby, just like her mum
Because if I end up in the hospital again near death I am sure going to give them hell that time
So a little late a get a call saying that they got blood from her but she would now pee
No fucking duh, I thought to myself, she has eaten almost nothing and drinks water sometimes
sooooo…
The girl on the phone tried to muster in the nicest way to tell me to come and pick up my fucking hell spawn of a cat because they were clearly tired of her rabid antics
We get back to the vet and they suggested I have a towel to go and get her out of the cage myself because at this point no one wanted to get near her at all
Which was funny to me
The nurse had me go back to the back to retrieve my crazy baby and when we got back there she was in her little holding cage with a towel over the front
When the girl lifted the towel Elly snarled at her
Which made the girl jump back behind me and gingerly try to open the cage door
She get it half way open and the hissy fit got louder
So I told her I got it and open the cage more
The girl hid around the corner so “Elly would not get upset”
The angry German brow was in fully force at this point until a reached into the cage and patted her little head and she calmed down in an instant
The nurse asked me if I was sure I did not want a towel to which I replied with “why?” as I picked Elly up out of the cage
To her amazement
To pretty much all of the nurses there I was insane for wanted to pick her up with no protection
And some sort of saint for calming her down in an instant
I laughed all the way out to the car…
After a rather taxing day at work I came home to see my little bean lying down on top on my Trent bear next to my bed
I pick her up to give some lovins and I noticed she would not close her eyes even when I put my fingers near them
And it pretty much went down hill from there
I fed her some baby food and she ate it
But as I was holding on to her she was getting limp
I decided to lie down on my bed with her next to me and she kept fading
I had to leave her for a second and she started to claw at the bed to move but she could not even do that
I called my mum and had a little break down so she came to get me to go and put Elly down at this vet she goes to that is fairly inexpensive
So I sat on the couch with my little baby and waited
She made little noises here and there and moved a little
Finally she stretched out fully and seized up
I felt her last breath
And then her little heart stopped beating
I’m just glad she waited for me to be there with her
She knew what she was doing
The baby just wanted me to be there with her till her end
I know I will never ever have a cat as odd as her again
She was way smarter than anyone would have ever guessed
She always knew what was going on
She was a good judge of character
And I’m pretty sure she understood people
Prolly better than I ever will
I’m gonna miss that little cow
So very much.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/exausted.gif) sleepeh
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July 30th, 2009
| 09:02 pm - please stop me from thinking all the time, about everything or somebody, from thinking all the time
did not sleep well last night due to the buzzing in my head
this has not happened to me in a very long time
and when it dose it sucks
i sat on my bathroom floor at three a.m. in complete darkness and silence
but the buzzing got louder and a slight high pitched noise came in as well
i think my brain was trying to escape from my skull but failed epically
finally fell asleep at six this morning but only till eleven
and i'm still awake
woo
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/sore.gif) sore
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July 27th, 2009
July 22nd, 2009
 | 01:40 pm - Wil Kommen
( Sing IT )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/calm.gif) calm
Current Music: people milling around
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July 19th, 2009
| 03:33 pm - put my fingers through the knotches in your spine....
i am angry at everyone and no one at the same time
it is frustrating because i know nobody is doing anything wrong
but the anger is still there
i just want to scream and hit things again
its not as bad as it could have been
if i was in this state a month ago i wold have killed someone actually
now im just all emo and moody
but the good new is that he will be home in two days
and i will hopeful get to see him for a little bit before he has his little one
but even if i don't it will still be okay because i will actually get to get hold of him
by a faster means of communication
bah
two days.....
Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: movie
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July 8th, 2009
 | 12:07 am - Got this from Ice...
Who's the biggest douche bag you know?
Currently it’s a toss up between my boss and my Ex.
Have you ever liked someone on your top friends?
Mostly from a safe distance
Are you mad about anything?
I was pissed a little while ago but now i am better
Are you planning on going to college?
thinking about it
Are you currently reading a book?
if chins could kill
Are you afraid of falling in love?
no
If someone looked ON your bed, what would they find?
too many pillows a sheet and some dirty clothes
What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?
why now?
Is there someone you liked so much and nothing ever happened?
kind-of
Ready for winter to come?
indeed
If you were given $1,000,000 what would you do?
get rid of my student loans
What's the greatest thing that happened to you today?
when big Joe gave me a hug
Who was the last person you have a missed call from?
ice
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months without cheating?
without a doubt
Do you think the last person you kissed is a player?
no, I’d kill him
Is there a meaning behind your myspace song?
do not want
Could you go out in public looking like you do now?
for a trash run, yes
What are you listening to right now?
purring of motors
Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
no
Do you still talk to any of your ex's?
yes?
When was the last time you talked to your number 1?
today actually
What would you think if your boyfriend/girlfriend still kept pictures of their ex?
nothing
What time did you get up this morning and why?
9am cause my new neighbors are raving assholes
Are you happier single or in a relationship?
i was pretty meh single, but am happy now im taken.
Do you wear flip-flops during the winter?
fuck that
Think of your last two kisses, were they with the same person?
yesh
Do you love where you live?
no
How fast do you get over things?
depends on what it was, the day, and if the med's are working
Can you say you honestly don't have any feelings for the last person that texted you?
that would be silly cause i love 'em
Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?
at home prolly playing fable 2
Have you ever laughed at something that wasn't meant to be funny?
allll the fucking time
Have you ever slapped someone in the face?
...yes
Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?
yes
Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends"?
as long as they are not assholes
Do you think things will change in the next few months?
i fucking hope so
Are any of your texts in your inbox locked and why?
a couple because they make me smile
The last person you kissed breaks your heart, what do you do?
move on
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
why the hell not
The one person who has hurt you the most says they love you, you say?
liar.again.still.
Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
nope
Have you ever gotten in a car with people you just met?
fairly recently yes
When you meet someone you like, do you fall in love fast?
it has only happened once before now
Ever receive a really long apology?
yes recently, it was long over due
Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
to many times
Can you honestly say that things are running smoothly for you?
they are better than they were a month ago but i could use some better lubricants for the works
Have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn't do?
no actually
What type of day are you having?
long and winding, slightly disappointing
Was there anyone who "made your day"?
i think Jason did
Do you have anyone crushing on you?
indeed
Do you think flirting is cheating?
no
When was the last time someone chased you with a hose?
hummmm it was years ago
When was the last time you sang out loud?
last night at work while doing the dishes and listening to my ipod
What would be your ideal pet?
Irish hunting dog
Does it annoy you when people don't understand what you're talking about?
not as much as it used to
Which celebrity would you love to be friends with?
Johnny Depp. i assume he has a few tales to tell, most of them being outlandishly stupid....
The infamous battle. Harry Potter or Twilight?
fuck those sparkling vampires
Do you say 'legit'?
no, i still don't
Remember the first time you kissed the last person you kissed?
it was at a park, when the sun was setting
Have you kissed the last person who texted you?
yes i have
Do you usually have weird dreams?
unfortunately i do
Last person you had a deep conversation with?
Kari
What were you doing at 10:17 pm last night?
riding my bike home from work
Is anyone else in the room with you?
ellhyme and mikey
Do you get drunk every weekend?
no
If you were in the hospital on life support, would the last person you kissed come and see you?
yes i think he would
What side of the bed do you sleep on?
right side
Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with?
no i do not
How's the weather today?
forgiving
What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
looking at pictures of red heads
How do you feel about the person who texted you last?
warm and fuzzy
Have you ever been around someone who was high?
most of my life
Last thing you purchased?
a soda
What was the last thing you drank with your number one?
never drank with her before, other than tea...
Three words to explain why you last threw up?
body shut down
Current Location: room
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/sleepy.gif) sleepy
Current Music: ticky0tacky
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July 3rd, 2009
| 12:16 am - not the dead parot joke....
( prozac and everything is groovy... )
Miguel lost his key and has been looking for them all day today
he cleaned his room and everything
he asked me if i could think of places to find them
i suggested to look on the belt he was using
he found them
go me...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/accomplished.gif) accomplished
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June 18th, 2009
| 02:39 am - you’re his girl and he’s your fella and all the rest is talk
( quizzies from the crazies )
got a little note today that made me smile
and made me think
and remember
not all of the guys who have fallen in and out of my live are complete fucking heartless assholes
its kind of nice to know this
you know who you are....
Current Location: dinningroomz
Current Mood: calm
Current Music: sprinkelers and a cat
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June 9th, 2009
| 05:06 pm - this shit IS bananas
Yesterday I got to hear the whole story about my first word
Those of you who know me, know I swear like a sailor
Funny that because my grandfather actually was a sailor
But I got to hear what led up to my very first word
That word being
Shit
I went to the doctors today to try and get myself out of this ocean of depression I am currently swimming in and to go and get my diabetes under some sort of control, cause that is also a disaster
The doctor asked me if I ever had any serious hospital visits and I told her about when my granpa died and I ended up in intensive care for a week or so and almost died as well
(I decided that instead of letting out how sad and angry I was I would bottle it up and the result was my organ were shutting down because my diabetes decided to become a bitch and try to kill me again)
That was when my mum told the doctor about the very first time I was in the hospital for my sickness
I had never herd this story before now and it was a doozy
I was very sick and had to go to the hospital because I was dying , I puked all over my cousin and passed out on the floor. So they took me in and shuffled me into intensive care where I was in a coma for a week or so
The doctors thought that I was going to die because I was so ill
But as you prolly guessed I was fine
The funny part was when my mum said one day she was sitting in the room next to me and I was still out
All of a sudden I slowly woke opened my eyes and looked at her
Then I looked at the IV’s on my hand and looked down at the ones on my foot
Then I looked at her again and sighed
And said “shit”
And now you know why I swear so fucking much…..
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/gloomy.gif) gloomy
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June 4th, 2009
May 30th, 2009
 | 01:51 am - but, at least, the ceiling's very pretty....
A bit has happened in the last week and so
*David and I are no longer together
*The boss i liked was moved to another store
*the apartments were in semi flamey doom
*had a interesting conversation with an old coworker
*got a interesting message from an old old coworker
*going to the doctor AGAIN
*things fell apart, its scientific
busy busy
was thinking about the break off for some time but wanted to make sure i was 100% and last Tuesday and wends day was the turning point for me
i was done, tired, and did not want to end up completely hating him because he annoyed me so fucking much
he took it well and we still talk now and again
but i don't actually miss him as much as i though that i would
so Yay for me i suppose
my assistant manager debi was moved to the slower store on watt and el Camino for some bullshit politics kind of reason as far as i am concerned
so i feel significantly less safe than before
he wants me to go
he wants me to quite
he might even try to fire me
i just need to be extremely careful at work
even more than before
motherfucker
the cat seems to be sick but getting better, i think the stress form the other morning fucked her up a bit and she is just getting over it
feeding her pedilite when she is not willing to be calm is an Olympic sport indeed
this place is a dump
I hate this place
And the crack heads cleaning the apartment at 4am with waterproofing spray near open flames
truly is
awesome
got a message from this guy i knew a year or so ago and was surprised because i was thinking about him a few hours earlier and *DOOM*
i got a message from him
he was apologizing for something i was pissed at him for but i do not remember why
i am sure it was just me being a girl and it was small and unimportant
i was just glad to hear that he was well
i have been slightly manic but i feel if i do not take any naps in the middle of the day i will be on some sort of sleeping schedule soon
but not really
my mind and body like to fight all of the time
body is tired but the brain is up for good
thinking about awful things, thinking about nothing
just thinking and running and going
on and on while the legs are ready to go and the back is wanting to break
good news is i am attempting to get myself well again
somehow
i am going to the doctors in June to get told i am doing a bad job of taking care of myself and hopefully will get on some sort of anti depressants and maybe even birth control
specially because all of the girls at work seem to be getting knocked up
i don't want to be the next lucky winner of you-will-be-fucked-for-the-rest-of-your-life-and on-food-stamps-while-people-hate-you
Soooo yeah
its 2am again and my brain is spitting all over the place
woo!
Current Location: home
Current Mood: sleepy
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May 18th, 2009
| 08:01 pm - Oh, so I drank one It became four And when I fell on the floor ... ...i drank more
.....so
i did it....
i saw star trek
and it was fucking awesome
i geeked out so much but it was fun
the casting was funny for some of the characters
And I'm almost sure they made all of them go and watch all of the original series to get all of the characters down so well
i mean kirk was still a douche bag but not like the "great" William Shatner
I just…
Loved it
I know I’m fucking retarded and I just outed myself completely but
Fuck it
Spock Rules!!!!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/excited.gif) excited
Current Music: the seven year itch
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May 7th, 2009
 | 05:55 pm
( more things to do )Warning:
May contain maniacal jumps from topic not related
And, go…
Wanting to do something silly for a bit now
But not sure where I want to do it
No no no, not talking about a place to loose my mind completely
But we all know where the fuck that would be if it ever happens
For this social experiment I want to ride my bike to a coffee shop somewhere in town
With my old Remington travel type writer in the front basket
My top hat including the goggles
My little shades, poka-dot dress with my grey cloth boots
Just sitting there clove rested on the side of my mouth
Coffee slightly dancing on the table because of the tappity of the machine
looking like I am really concentrating on some break through of journalism about this shit town
But if you looked at what I was writing it would be something funny about clouds or fluffy kittens
Got a huge manic attack today but by the time it got fierce it was too dark for me to go and ride my bike some where so I just paced back and forth in the front room making myself even crazier
So I gave up and went back on the computer
I hate it when this thing wins
It wins way to often for me to be okay with it
I just imagine myself gaining three hundred pounds by just sitting here
that’s just me talking silly, and I will go no further on this subject
Cause big brother could very well be watching….
Have a new stalker type.
So not stoked
I am sure he is a nice man but I just don’t like him
It might be the fact that I have told him no I don’t want to go on a date with him THREE times, twice in one day,.
Plus he is just slightly creepy to me, and when I get one of those feelings it is usually not so good…
There is nothing like the feeling of making sure you keep an eye out for a white truck so he doesn’t figure out where you live cause I am pretty sure he would do something like show up at the apartment and try there
That would be fantastic
Heh boobs…
Also….
Thinking about getting my mum on a cell plan with me just to keep some sort of tabs on her, but in a way one would think she would not suspect me of doing
But your wrong, she would know right off the bat what I was up too
Crafty ass woman
….. Not a bad idea, just not a cheap one for me anyways)
Cat is perplexed at furniture situation, thinks the invisible bugs are out to get her
And I throw a sock
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/stressed.gif) scatterbrained
Current Music: bandits
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May 4th, 2009
| 11:41 pm - The Ghospal Acording to Joe Strummer.....
This Saturday (5/9): Kevin Seconds, Kepi Ghoulie, BagOKittens, Brian Hanover...9pm, $3. Fox&Goose, 1001 R St, Sacto
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/drained.gif) drained
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April 22nd, 2009
April 15th, 2009
| 03:17 pm - a soap impression of his wife
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTV6Jk9Xoa8
went to school with this guy
crazy but in a friendly way...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/amused.gif) amused
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April 5th, 2009
April 4th, 2009
| 11:41 pm - you can scream and you can shout
Something for the rag and bone man "Over my dead body"
Something big is gonna happen "Over my dead body" Someone's son or someone's daughter "Over my dead body"This is how I end up sucked in "Over my dead body"
I'm gonna go to sleep let this wash all over me You know we don't want the monster taking over "Tiptoe round tie him down" We don't want the loonies taking over "Tiptoe round tie them down"
May pretty horses Come to you As you sleep I'm gonna go to sleep Let this wash All over me.
Come on, Come on You think you drive me crazy, well Come on, Come on You and whose army You and your cronies Come on, Come on Holy Roman empire Come on if you think Come on if you think You can take us all You can take us all You and whose army You and your cronies You forget so easy We ride tonight We ride tonight Ghost horses Ghost horses We ride tonight We ride tonight Ghost horses Ghost horses Ghost horses
and lastly....
A heart that's full up like a landfill,
a job that slowly kills you,
bruises that won't heal.
You look so tired-unhappy,
bring down the government,
they don't, they don't speak for us.
I'll take a quiet life,
a handshake of carbon monoxide,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
Silence, silence.
This is my final fit,
my final bellyache,
with no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises,
no alarms and no surprises please.
Such a pretty house
and such a pretty garden.
No alarms and no surprises (get me outta here),
no alarms and no surprises (get me outta here),
no alarms and no surprises, please
Current Location: feh
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/depressed.gif) reallly depressed
Current Music: insides turning to cancer
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April 1st, 2009
| 10:54 pm - good news for those who love bad news
damn it Franz Ferdinand and your sexy catchy tunes
you hansom skinny jerks from Scotland
you and your musical beats
making me want to dance in the middle of the parking lot uncontrollably....
and on another note
i went into my roommates work and filled out an application and i am hoping for the best
she has been working there for a few weeks and seem to be better at life already
well the sleeping part is iffy but she seems a little happier altogether
i need a little happiness in the little place i have put myself into just a little because when you keep having strange dreams, that might be counted as casual nightmares it makes sleeping difficult
Saturday:had a dream about the end of the world
there was this huge glass building in front of me and this small child standing next to me. a sonic type bomb want off and the glass started to fall, so i grabbed the child and ran through the falling glass and hid in one of the bathrooms on the third floor.
Wednesday: i was dead in a morgue (i seemed to have killed myself somehow) and this girl was doing an autopsy on me and peeling off my skin i was there too but not in my body (duh) as this girl was going to start to take out my organs this other body got up and killed the girl working on me. the other dead body was alive and was helping me put my skin back on, then i left the area and i woke up after i was contemplating jumping off a building with the other person...
yup i need a new job
Current Location: room
Current Mood: nothing in particular
Current Music: do you ever listen to yourself talk *oh i drift in and out*
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March 30th, 2009
| 06:07 pm - stop making sence , making sence.
( Keep on moving on... )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/apathetic.gif) apathetic
Current Music: errbody wantz sum
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March 29th, 2009
March 26th, 2009
| 05:55 pm - fucking muppets
( so there... )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/aggravated.gif) pee
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March 18th, 2009
| 08:48 pm - of nothing in particualr
i remember when you would write in your journal and it was personal
it was you
paper and pencil
silly doodles in the margins
how you perceived yourself away from everybody
and it was usually healthy
you were talking to yourself but pretending that it was someone else
someone who cared and wanted you too tell how you felt about that one guy
how you hated whatsherface
and a little insanity here and there (burning down work, shooting people, ect.)
now you have the bloggings disease
where you will not write anything unless you know you will get replies or comments or hits
not that you care if they have anything to say
you just want the fact that someone is reading about your shitty day
controlling ex
roommate from hell
asshole boss
killing spree daydream
air conditioned nightmare
porn star neighbor
it all just adds up
some of us do this on a weekly basis
sometimes everyday
once a month
and then never
but do you still let your mind go on that paper or do you just filter it on here?
in truth i do let more of my personality shine on here than i might like to
but i still let most stay inside safely
i have a paper place to write and i do most nights
it keeps me most of the time
and it will have to
until i get out of this little dark hole i trapped myself in
and move away
until then
here i am
another part of the new found blogging generation
Current Location: sac-town
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/full.gif) OMGWTFBBQ?
Current Music: team america world police
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March 16th, 2009
| 08:36 pm - I watch a re-run. It looks a lot like you.
I'm the lucky one
Always having fun.
I tie back my hair.
I sit and watch T. V.
I see only me,
Though I look for you there.
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March 10th, 2009
| 01:25 am - Maddness
( pure morning... )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/creative.gif) creative
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March 4th, 2009
| 07:51 pm - clearly you've never been to sinapor...
→ Pick your birth month.
→ Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
→ Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.
this is sort of silly but was fun to think about
I'm sure there are a few things to be argued here but whatever
in the middle of scrubbing all of the mold off the wall in or shitty little bathroom in this crappy little apartment
and re-caulked to shower again and this time it should work cause no one will be using this tub for three days
and i will be putting the heater on while the door is closed to hopefully dry out the mold and caulk
found out that if you keep anything to close to the windows in this place and the carpet will get terribly soggy
like the rain has come inside of the house and is turning all our things to damply useless crap
hooray
cleaned the whole house and vacuumed and swept and such
but still i feel that i have done nothing
beh
need to find food now, god speed you black emperor!!
Current Location: room in the room
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/hungry2.gif) hungry
Current Music: tai dalma bitching davey jones out.
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February 18th, 2009
| 06:54 pm - more piggies!!
gir is mine. if you know me long enough it would make sense. i sing and dance in little random circles i looooooovvve my little piggy cupcakes are great i laugh at everything, sometimes uncontrollably....
Current Location: homme
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/contemplative.gif) cupcake!
Current Music: break of silence
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February 17th, 2009
February 10th, 2009
| 12:11 am - Pretty in pink..
( ...isn't she. )
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/crazy.gif) wWwhEEeeEEEeeeeeeeEEE!!
Current Music: blathering of telly
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February 8th, 2009
| 04:24 pm - phone is off the hook, but you're not
i hate, hate, hate the asshole that lives above me
I want him to die in a car crash
or choke on a fucking dick already
want him to fall down the stairs in front of my window
I will get out of bed
open the door
point and laugh
close the door
go back to bed
fucking asshat
he paces at all hours, talks on the phone and watches movies and porn all the fucking time
it makes me feel sorry for who ever lives under someone i used to know.....
he and my boss should get into a fiery car crash together
okay im done now
Current Location: home
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/annoyed.gif) kill
Current Music: loud
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January 14th, 2009
| 11:17 pm - Taking shots for Mother Nature
reading another Palahniuk book
i feel it is healthy in a way
but not really feeling trapped in a world of guys who fight each other for the fuck of it, going to sex addict meetings just to fuck in a broom closet and not be the son of god, get rabies and survive only to infect others on purpose (both male and female), get tricked into a house to survive with your own drama you need to make for lack there of, shoot your own face off to escape your old life, following a wanna be witch and he retard boyfriend, or writing a diary for you jackass of a husband for reasons only his mother will understand.... It's not too bad right? i could be up to my elbows in fear and loathing, or the great shark hunt
piles of bukowski
reliving the eighties via drugs sex and boredom by Ellis
or trying to understand why kiss is so awesome but no one will ever get why...
funny thing is i have done most of that already
no wonder i like to drink and stare at shadows on the walls Working on my new years resolution one day at a time
I think I might actually get it this time
this is prolly the first time that I have ever made one so I am off to a good start Go me. Thinking of really cleaning the hell out of the apartment on Friday, it needs it badly
It looks just like two very depressed girls live in it, as they say: if the shoe fits…. In other unimportant news I was glad to hear today that no, my gramma did not purposely forget about my birthday or Christmas, she also forgot about my mum and brother as well.
Don’t want to sound like a selfish cunt or anything but I’d rather not get angry at her for being a total bitch and not remembering me on purpose
My mum says because no one will remind her of sending stuff like that to me and her and my little brother she will not remember to
Because my family consists of a bunch of fucking selfish assholes
I am aware of all families can have these people but they are all gathered into one spot and love to make sure that when they need help gram know but if her other daughter and her other grandchildren might need some kind of help out she will not be able to because of the invisible wall Fuck that glass ceiling…. Soooo unnerved
Current Location: here
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/blank.gif) monster?
Current Music: prolly porn from unstairs
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January 1st, 2009
| 02:39 pm
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
same shit different days
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
dont make them ,but will now because I FUCKING HATE PANERA,FUCK THOSE NAZI COMMIE BASTARDS
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
hope not
4. Did anyone close to you die?
no
5. What countries did you visit?
no
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
mental stability <ditto>
7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
first week of january when we moved out and had no power, for the whole week...
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
moving out of house
9. What was your biggest failure?
the list is long
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
starting to get social anxiety
11. What was the best thing you bought?
my DVDs
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
no idea
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
no comment
14. Where did most of your money go?
me-ish
15. What did you get "wicked" excited about?
moving out, and seeing amanda palmer
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2008?
spring break 1889
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
much sadder
ii. thinner or fatter?
bout the same
iii. richer or poorer?
Richer, but still poor. <ditto>
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
been away from work and sacramento
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
existed
20. How did you spend Christmas?
everywhere
22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
sort-of
23. How many one-night stands?
NONE!
24. What was your favorite TV program?
no tv
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope hate the same people
26. What was the best book you read?
rant
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
no one actually
28. What did you want and get?
a bicycle
29. What did you want and not get?
a digital camera, and silk screen set fer shirts
30. What was your favorite film(s) of this year?
i did not go to any movies this year....
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
not a fucking thing, 25
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
moving out of sacramento
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
random and DIY
34. What kept you sane?
my bitchy cat
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
me
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The presidential election and prop 8 <same but different>
37. Who did you miss?
some stoopid person
38. Who was the best new person(s) you met?
Qywenn and she's too cute
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
try to be calm among all the stupid ass motherfuckers that surround and drain you on a daily basis
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
i tried to fall in it again
my friends took bets and disappeared
they mime their sighing violins
i think i’ll wait another year
i want my chest pressed to your chest
my nervous systems interfere
ten or eleven months at best
i think i’ll wait another year
this weather turns my tricks to rust
i am a lousy engineer
the winter makes things hard enough
i think i’ll wait another year
plus, i’m only 26 years old
my grandma died at 83
that’s lots of time if i don’t smoke
i think i’ll wait another year
i’m not as callous as you think
i barely breathe when you are near
it’s not as bad when i don’t drink
i think i’ll wait another year
i have my new bill hicks cd
i have my friends and my career
i’m getting smaller by degrees
you said you’d help me disappear
but that could take forever
i think i’ll wait another year
it’ll be the best year ever
i think i’ll wait another...
can’t we just wait together?
you bring the smokes, i’ll bring the beer
...i think i’ll wait another year
Current Location: hommmie
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/angry.gif) FUCK!!
Current Music: purring sctizo
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November 23rd, 2008
| 06:24 pm - and who needs love when the sandwiches are wicked and they know you at the mac store...
turned 25 a fewdays ago
turned like milk, into cheese
not good cheese mind you but cheese
i got to start my day of birth at 6am preping food for my shit job again, milargros car broke down so she showed up two hours late, but by then i calmed down to a lite rainshower at that point.
my assistant manager game a a couple of tickets to go see a random movie.
woot.
andy came in and virdianna told him it was my BD and he said HBD and i told him to guess what i wanted for my BD and he replied "no to be here" i said yes but i want one other thing more
*blank look* "....what?"
"a hug, from you!!"
so i got an extra strong hug from him
cause i love him, mostly...
i came home and planned to sit with some tea and popcorn and play SH2 for the remainder of my day...
but then josh called
did not have much of a party per-se
but my co-worker came over and got drunk and pissed all around my toilet
yes grafic....
and then later a few more showed up and we listened to some interesting music, i liked it and when i see mr. dustin again i will asked him about it.
went to bed at 3am and woke up at 1pm today
i say it was good enough for me..
Current Location: haus
Current Mood: soo drained
Current Music: stoopid guy upstairs
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November 4th, 2008
| 07:59 pm - gonna crack yer little skulls, crack yer little skulls
Not too much has been happening because my life is so full of adventure
I don’t have friends and im okay with that still
I know people and that is good enough
the true love coffee house is gone again, I know I might be behind in the news but I do know now
it’s not like I had any ties to any of the people there
I miss Lou and Kevin but other than that it was nothing really
because im such a selfish, lying whore
as most of you prolly know already that’s how I roll stabbing people in the back
lying to their faces
oh, and don’t forget sleeping around
that’s my favorite thing to do out of the lot fuck yeah............................................. so I did vote today because it’s all important and stuff
I bugged everyone to vote as well
cause it’s all important and stuff
voted no on quite a few things
specially on the prop 8 measure
cause you know equal rights and all
plus who knows
one of my ex's might need that law on their sides one day
and im always here for them..... no really.... Obama, What , what?
Current Location: happi
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/content.gif) sokay, mah dear
Current Music: depeche mode= love
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October 28th, 2008
| 02:03 am - but you are, my love, the astronaught...
well i did my good deed for the week on sunday afternoon.
david and i were going to the sunrise mall, cause we were bored,
on the corner just before you turn into the parking lot where the Macy's is
there were some sign wavers
they were supporting yes on prop 8
i wanted david to curb the whole group,
but remembered that everyone has a right to free speech
no matter how stupid you are
so we did something else
as we drove by
one gramma
a child who knows no better
and a creepy father type
we slowed down in the car
and flipped them off
both of us
both hands
drive by at five miles per hour
woot freedom of speech
and finger flinging good tymes
i love me...
Current Location: haus
Current Mood: coffee!!
Current Music: brain waves
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September 29th, 2008
| 02:53 pm - we suffer mornings most of all
( killer k you're a star )Paul Newman died
in case you didn't get that memo....
it's sad but not completely tragic
because he got to live a full life
83 years on this earth
got to do all he wanted to do and more
raised monies for things he believed in
helped people and stuff
i never tried any of his foodstuffs but im sure they are good...
its funny that i had a huge crush on him for-ever
that's one thing not too many people know
his blue eyes in cool hand luke killed me the first time
and did every time after that
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was ok too but not as good
as cool hand luke
sigh....
Current Location: dinning room esc
Current Mood: splendifference
Current Music: squeeing about ketteh
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September 20th, 2008
| 05:03 pm - the winter makes things hard enough
( runs in the family )</div>
the air is full of sickness
the room is a mess
the cat is snoring
the dishes are
the garbage is
but...
amanda is singing out of my speakers
loud and full of anger, off key flailing vocal nightmare
but she is love
like tori is love
there is no comparison
no reason to
Current Location: house
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/sick.gif) sick
Current Music: me and the mini bar
|
September 10th, 2008
| 08:16 pm - We Ain't Got No Money, Honey, But We Got Rain
( blu bird )
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you
Current Location: home
Current Mood: nothin' left to do, but Dieeee
Current Music: MBD <3
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September 8th, 2008
| 05:32 pm - Weak Type: I.Q Of A Cabbage...
( blatherings&forbodements )
Current Location: chair out of order
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/cold.gif) sleeeeeeeepy
Current Music: someonehavingse...x....?
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September 1st, 2008
| 01:11 am - nothings gonna change my world
it seems that the only time i actually get me shit together and try to flapp something on this window box it only happens at the wee hours of the morning
( quick now.... wassat? )for the birds.... >'^.^'<
( like a rollin' stone, like the fBI )mow??
Current Location: haus
Current Mood: steam out girls
Current Music: snoringmindscapes
|
August 29th, 2008
| 12:07 am - things fall apart it scientific....
Four family members:
Steven, kari, mum, mawgyn
Four places that I go to over and over:
ocean, my bed, park at night, next to my cat
Four people who e-mail me (regularly):
no one
Four of my favorite places to eat:
I heart teriyaki, taco bell, coldstone, and not home
Four places I would rather be right now:
bay area, london, bay area, london
Four TV shows I watch over and over:
nope
Four things in the room I'm in:
elly, kari, lamp, rupert
Four concerts I've been to:
nin. mbd
Four things on my calendar:
X, ellys birfday, flogging molly, rent due
Four fears:
abandonment, entrapment, toilets, and feets
Four things in your purse or wallet:
keys, wallet, sunglasses, rose madder
Four chores you hate doing:
life
Four favorite animals:
kitties, bunnies, mice, and dogs
Four speed dials on your cell phone:
I guess they're all speedy versus the rotary. *ditto kari*
Four places you have called home:
san jose, san mateo, belmont, redwood city (sacramento will NEVER be called home)
Four favorite pieces of jewelry:
my four necklaces
Four websites you visit:
myspace, deviantart, youtube, lj
Four people who have been in your car:
no car!!?
Four things you are wearing:
tank top, undies, boxers, pad....
Four places you'd like to visit:
London, Japan, italy, iceland
Four things you are looking forward to:
petting elly........
Four favorite types of candy:
?
Four sports teams you like:
I despise sports. *ditto kari*
Four things found in your fridge:
yogurt, vegetables, milk, flavored water
Four rituals you do daily:
wake up, dress, undress, go back to bed
Four things currently within reach:
raisins,scissors, pen, fridge
Four malls you have been in:
Arden Fair, Sunrise, Galleria...
midtown... haha that's funny to a select few... *ditto kari*
Four things you know how to cook:
anything
Four Halloween costumes you've worn:
angus young, cheir, vampire, doll
|
August 22nd, 2008
| 01:23 am - pancakes?
isn't this where?.....
Current Mood: short bus
|
August 15th, 2008
| 04:32 am - thats why it really hurts
1. I've come to realize that when I'm driving..
that it would be horrifying cause it would mean the driver had died or something..
Where is your number one person right now?
sleeping...by the front door...mow
Current Location: haus
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/drunk.gif) this iz not really happening
Current Music: snoring city, screaming child
|
| 03:12 am - asme as it ever was..
woot
i am back again. it has been forever since the last time i had a steady stream of the nets to let my mind bleed out to...
this is good and bad
this is going to be funny to most
but most are no longer with me
and i am fine with that.
you guys suck anyway....
wooooooo
Current Location: haus
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: kapi the band
|
July 24th, 2008
| 08:45 pm - skull kicking remains
...... well i suppose i could waste some space in this little series of tubes
a bit of time
air and what not
i got me a bike and it is the new love of my life it gets me here and there and back again
dads dying slowly
mum is still on the verge
and i am affording rent
yay
i have a much better place to live and a better person to live with
it is good to have somebody who cares weather or not people are there to see them do so
yes indeed
a bottle of aspirin calls my name in low frequencies, with it i will forget you again today.
Current Location: here
Current Mood: beh
Current Music: there
|
December 17th, 2007
| 07:01 pm - Wanna Bad Mother Fucker Like Staggar Lee
the bean trees, a piano, and old ashes rattling in this room...
( ode to my lately )
Current Location: TLC
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/neko/kaokitty/cheerful.gif) glee?
Current Music: Punk
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malenky_mozg's journal
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